zombie | The Big Scare

In the history of mass-produced Halloween decorations, there have been many remarkable boxes and packages that have housed decorations both stellar and less-than-stellar. However, there is no artwork that matches this beautifully macabre scene.

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Behold the morbid and the macabre! What sort of heinous decoration could be housed in such a gruesome box? There are bats, skeletons, zombie hands, graves, mausoleums, and spider webs… and this is only the bottom of the box!

Gruesome Ghoul Artwork

Gah! Look at that drooling ghoul in his eternal shroud! And what is that, a toppled cross below him? This must really be some sort of sick and demented decoration. But wait! There’s more!

Gruesome Ghoul Artwork

This must be the grimmest of reapers! Look at that snake protruding from his eye socket! He’s even wearing another serpent as a scarf! Could whatever is inside this box be as terrifying as this? Could it ever live up to the utter fear that this image inspires?

Believe it or not, this packaging is from a company called Funny Toys. Funny Toys. There doesn’t seem to be anything funny about this box. Perhaps they should’ve called themselves “Great Packaging” instead. Okay. Okay. You have waited long enough. Here’s the big reveal, the “funny toy” that was inside of this petrifying packaging…

1990 Funny Toys “Spooky Coffin” Animated Figure

Behold the Spooky Coffin, released in 1990! For 1990, this probably was a pretty gruesome Halloween decoration: a miniature coffin, a vampire rising from it, creepy creaking sounds, menacing music playing, and evil laughter. Taking all that into consideration, it was pretty advanced for its time. One thing is for certain, they don’t make ’em like they used to… And that includes the packaging!

If you have not already bought the candy for 2013’s batch of Treaters, you’re in luck. Today, we are going to hand out 2013’s Best of Halloween awards, with this year’s emphasis on Treats. The Big Scare is run by some very scrupulous candy connoisseurs, and we are proud to share with you our picks for the Best Halloween Treats of 2013.

First up, our pick for…

BEST ARTWORK

Our pick for best artwork goes to Nestle’s Ultimate Scream fun-size candy pack. This 45-piece bag of goodies is filled with Nestle’s top sellers, like Crunch and Butterfinger. But, as with our last post, it’s really what’s on the outside that counts for this award. Clearly, this bag was created by a Monster-lover. It’s true that this package has been around for a while, but it still has yet to be beat, except by Nestle’s now hard-to-find companion pack, Classic Scream. The image of the Frankenstein Monster and the “scream queen” is simply iconic. Too bad the Dracula bag is no longer widely available, as it would have easily tied for this award. Better than any officially licensed food-product from Universal Studios, this bag scares up first place in the art department.

BEST ASSORTMENT

Our winner for the Best Halloween Assortment award is one that will be familiar to seasonal enthusiasts. Anyone who has been reading the Big Scare since its launch will know that we are huge on themed-treats. The bland, boring fun-sized candy like the treats in the bag above do very little for us. It’s Halloween, and that means we have high-expectations for the fun-level of our candy. In terms of fun, it’s hard to beat the Hershey’s Halloween Shapes Assortment. This package of treats is the ultimate combination of taste and terror. Between the York Peppermint Pumpkins, the Hershey’s tombstones, and the Reese’s pumpkins, the taste quality is hard to beat… and so are the shapes!

BEST HALLOWEEN CANDY

The award for Best Halloween Candy is not given lightly. A lot has to be considered before the award is bestowed upon a creepy candy-maker. That being said, this year’s winner is Palmer and its 3-pound bag of Monster Munch chocolate candy. For decades, Palmer has been one of the staunchest supporters of themed Halloween candy. From the old-time Witch Pops to the classic Monster Munny (Money), Palmer has been the mastermind behind many a child’s Halloween memories. So, it seems only fitting that a giant bag of Palmer monster-shaped candy should be the winner of 2013’s Best Halloween Candy award. In this massive package, you will find 3-pounds of chocolate treats — all appropriately themed and decorated. First is the Monster Munny (Money), an item which has been around for decades. Featuring the cartoon likenesses of Dracula, the Wolf Man, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Witch, and a Great Pumpkin, the Monster Munny (Money) is a very special treat. Split up into demonic denominations and made of Palmer’s fantastic double-crisp, it could only be beat if the chocolate were molded to look like the tinfoil wrappers… Also included in the Monster Munch are two-tone Peanut Butter Pumpkins, which do come shaped like jack-o’-lanterns, yummy, soft fudge-filled Boos, and the most creative of the lot: milk-chocolate zombies (white chocolate corpses in chocolate coffins). This set can simply not be beat. Not only is it tasty, but it has all of the heart that Halloween candy should have. Congratulations to Palmer and its Monster Munch!